A TIME TO MAKE NEW - PART 1
-- Marie Chapian
It's a time to make new. The holidays are a time of giving, of sharing, and most of all, a time of expressing love and appreciation for the blessings God has given to us through His Son, Jesus. There is one element in the blessing category I'd like us to carefully consider. It is a point of meditation, really. Since this time of year when we recognize and give homage to the birth of our Lord Jesus, it would do Him great honor to give birth to something new within ourselves. I envision this inner birth as a fire exploding into a huge roar of glory that will infuse not only our lives, but the world around us. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the wonders of forgiveness.
Wonders. We tend to think of forgiveness in terms of the BIG. We think we're fine in the forgiveness department because we finally forgave so-and-so who did us some serious wrong back when. In fact, we even went the extra mile and told them we forgave them-even loved them. Let me tell you, one of the most vindictive persons I've known is a woman who utterly forgave her husband for cheating on her and dumping her to marry a younger woman. She claims to have forgiven both her ex-husband and the woman. She even told them both she forgave them and she went so far as to tell them she wished them her best. But I can't tell you she entered the "wonders" of forgiveness.
She came to me pleased with herself for humbling herself and forgiving "those two." Well, that was a great thing she had done because she had emptied herself of darkness and agony and given her marital situation and her life to God to fulfill His purposes and to bless her. (If we're full of darkness we can't see to reach out for the blessings God has for us. We may desperately want to be blessed, but just like groping around in the dark for the light switch, we can't find our way to God's best.)
There was a snag in the woman's scenario. The rest of her life was loaded with resentment. She had grudges against a zillion people and situations: the car mechanic whom she claimed overcharged her, her lawyer whom she was certain is biased, the women in her church whom she called unspiritual and judgmental, her kids who took their father's side, her sister and brother-in-law who owed her money, her pastor who was always too busy...To spend an hour with the woman was to hear a barrage of complaints and put-downs against any number of people and situations.
Of course the woman needed time to really let the forgiveness sink in so she could experience peace in her heart. But her fault-finding habits were not misplaced anger being she had always been a fault finder and a complainer. She simply carried on life as usual. She needed to do a spiritual inventory in order to free herself from the dark blotches of negativity and unforgiveness that had a hold in her life. Her terribly wounded self image was fueled by the rejection of her husband, but not the total cause of it.
You will find, as you search your heart, that the more people and situations you put down and/or resent, the easier it is to put yourself down. Let's take some prevalent situations that cause us resentment. Remember, resentment undealt with becomes unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is a dark blot in your vision. Not only can you not see the truth of God around you or in you, you can't receive the blessings that have been earmarked for you since before you were born.
The woman I speak of actually represents many women (and men) I've counseled with over the years. These are dear souls who are learning by practice the far reaching depths, power and wonder of forgiveness (just like you and me).
What is forgiveness? Let me say first it is being at peace with the world around us. We are IN the world, but not OF it. "My Peace I give you," Jesus said, "not as the world gives, but as I give to you" (John 14:27). His peace is an inner spiritual sense of peace that surpasses human understanding (Philippians 4:7). Knowing the peace of God means to be at peace with what's given us to bear even when we are contending and interceding for more. It's His peace that He asks to rule in our hearts, (Colossians 3:15)-and not our nervousness, our anxieties, our bitternesses or our unforgiveness.
We recognize unforgiveness by:
- Remembering with a self-righteous air how people have failed to meet your expectations to do the right thing like they are supposed to do, and how it's not your fault when things go wrong
- Bitterly recounting what someone has taken from you.
- Bitterly enumerating how someone has disappointed you (you can name the times!)
- Bitterly recounting how you've been taken advantage of
- Bitterly assessing how someone less deserving got what was rightfully yours
- Bitterly hanging onto memories of abuse and violation
-Bitterly going over how stupid, cruel, selfish or wrong someone else is
- Blithely putting down a person you don't even know by how they look, dress or act
- Blithely sneering or chuckling at another's failure or shame
- Eagerly passing on to others what you hear of someone else's moral demise
- Jealously resenting another's success and therefore thinking it okay to put them down, find fault, even lie about them and go on believing you should have what they have
- Righteously thinking because someone is not like you or believe like you it is okay to belittle, deride or demean them
- Indignantly regarding a brother as a nuisance or less important in God's kingdom than you.